You'd rather spend most of your time waiting for Windows to do what it needs to do, updating your system regularly, and dealing with changes and broken things with each update? Hmm... I question the wisdom in that. Not sure what experiences you've had with Linux (and how long ago), but, with Debian, I've set up my system once to my liking, and it needs absolutely no work of any kind since that day. No updates, no configuration, no naggers, and no delays at all -- it stays as I customised it, stable, and helps me get my work done efficiently.
Also, installing, and uninstalling software is easier on Linux than on Windows. The software selection is also better -- there are more quality software that are designed by people who actively use them, as opposed to designed for commercial gain. But, of course, you won't find Windows software for Linux, just as you won't find Linux software for Windows. They are different operating systems with their own solutions and software for the same tasks.
The statement "nothing works on Linux" is simply not true. Everything works on Linux that is designed for Linux -- and it works beautifully. I've replaced my entire workflow of programs/applications from both Mac and Windows with Linux apps that work better than the original software I was using. The only exception to this are professional suite applications that you are intimately used to working with, such as Adobe Photoshop. There's no version of those for Linux, but I am running Photoshop in a Windows XP virtualbox, and it runs like a breeze. Otherwise there's Linux alternatives such as GIMP and Inkscape to get the same work done.
You can say "I don't have the time to learn how to use new software", and that's fair enough, but it's not fair to say "nothing works" on Linux -- that's as far from the truth as it can be.