Are you in the Nordic League? I've got friends in that. Carl Ryrberg, Ties Kool, Lopez, and others. They are some great fencers. Carl and Ties will be at my event in a couple of weekends.
I'm an ultra beginner, so I'm not competing (nor free sparring) yet. Just going to trainings 2 times a week, and going to buy some equipment soon. Carl Ryrberg, the name is familiar from youtube videos of tournaments I've seen.
You should just talk to her about it, be straight with her. She might not be ready to commit just yet, but there's no need to play games. Life is too short to get entangled in other people's insecurities.