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Lamented

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Status Updates posted by Lamented

  1. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10027875/1/What-could-happen Me and my friend are collaborating on a Star Wars timetravel fic. Italics on chapter 4 were from my real life FYI.
    1. eezstreet

      eezstreet

      needs more rend2

    1. Cerez

      Cerez

      Wow, I can't believe I'm the first to comment on this. This is an outstanding piece of prose, Intone! The cold, rational mind of future Grand Moff Tarkin, the brilliant strategist of the Imperial army. Gives me the chills... It's a really good look into his mind. I really look forward to reading more from you.

    1. Omicron
    2. Onysfx

      Onysfx

      @Omicron, I dare you to read Harry Potter fanfiction xD.

    3. Omicron

      Omicron

      Harry, my wand broke...

    1. MoonDog

      MoonDog

      I wish more people would take up writing, great for you. I think you are a tad robust on the amount of adjectives for a short story. Leave some room for the reader to fill in the blanks.

    2. Lamented

      Lamented

      Thanks for the advice. Also, I'm writing more parts to this story and check out my other story for now, if you want: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9532931/1/Star-Wars-Order-of-the-Sith-Lords-Savage-Opress

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Lamented

      Lamented

      Good rapping. I'd try to make a new line on that last one thought that has 12 syllables.

       

      Otherwise, I lol'd a lot.

    3. Bacon

      Bacon

      have at it.

    4. Lamented

      Lamented

      Oh, I see. XD

    1. Lamented

      Lamented

      Still better than Justin Bieber

    1. Lamented
    2. Ping

      Ping

      Not a big loss, considering this looks like it plays like TFU, which was atrociously boring by JKA standards.

    3. Dai

      Dai

      POWAAAA, UNLIMITEEED POWAAAA

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